14 April 2009
Timecheck: 1:03 AM

Idk where to start .............. B won't you understand I just want to cry ? :'{ I feel so upset inside me . Must things really be like this ? Won't you let me help in every/ANY way I can ....... I feel so bloody helpless . And to think you still wanted to get me a polariod camera with your coming pay . I hate to see the sadness in your eyes , the tone when you said those words . "I cannot pamper you anymore ....." it felt like my heart was ripped apart . I'm sorry I've been impatient , uncaring , irritable , making a fuss over nothing (for the fun yet it's not fun in the end) and everything else last time . I don't need you to pamper me , now all I really want is more time with you . It's not enough , never enough . I can't bear to forsee what will happen in future (it's not that future tmd) cuz I've already got a rough prediction and I . Don't . Like . It .

I love you B . All I want now is for you to be healthy ......... Plz don't put your health on the fence you gotta eat more . We'll make it through , cuz I'd stand by you .