02 August 2009
Timecheck: 12:54 AM

What the fuck do I get in return when I try to be independent ? SHIT . I swear . Words like "You always do this type of shit . Now do this type of shit again" - Can you believe that came from my dad . I'm fucking disappointed and hurt . As parents , aren't you supposed to wish your child learns to be independent ? Let me be damn honest here , I've hardly been independent becuz one - I don't have a chance to be and two - I don't even know how to be , for I'd always remain so naive if I did not meet B .

So why the fuck are you making things so difficult for me !? I'm trying to learn to do things on my own - simple things like seeing a doctor . You were supposed to bring me to see yesterday . BUT I was not free . So I went today with B and the cost was freaking expensive becuz I didn't know my family doctor closed @12.30pm . Th stupid clinic charged me 58 bux , which is like daylight robbery ? I was pissed , I asked why so expensive & all th receptionist could tell me was that consultation is $40 on weekend . Makes no fucking sense becuz I know what's wrong with me . I HAVE A BAD COUGH that's all . I might as well juz go some drugstore and get cough tablets -_-

Like I can do anything about that . I had my personal reasons why I did not ask you along . Now I come back and tell you guys that I went to see doctor already you get so fucking worked up and start scolding me ? My mum says "Who ask you nv go see family doctor . Why can't you wake up earlier since you know th family doctor close . You should give us the money back - you use pocket money pay right" SHE SAYS THINGS LIKE THAT . Like am I supposed to know what time th stupid family doctor closes . And fyi it's only when you're working on weekends do I get to fucking replenish my rest by sleeping till 4pm+ AND NO ONE DISTURBS ME . Becuz when you're off , you're bound to wake me up at fucking 10am . And th whole sleepless vicious cycle starts again . And you're th one who fucking suggested bringing me to the doctor on Friday ! Is that being responsible ? I srsly have no mood to argue with you . I did my part , tomorrow's your off . I'm trying to make things easier so that we can go out .

I gave up and approached my dad , hoping he'd be more understanding . And he starts the shit comments . AND BRINGS UP THE FUCKING PAST . There is a fucking huge difference between this stupid clinic visit and that time th hospital visit . Makes my blood boil to think about what my parents are saying . My dad will comment "You're lucky they nv refer you to TTSH for h1n1 test" like wtf I don't have flu edi I'm juz getting medication for my cough . Forget it if you don't want to return me the 58bux it doesn't matter anymore and I DON'T WANT TH FUCKING CASH BACK . I can return my friends myself . I juz control and eat less (shrugs).

This is damn fuck . I nv thought things would turn so sour - all becuz of a stupid doctor visit . And let me make this clear - I NV WANTED TO SEE ANY DOCTOR . If not for you suggesting to see I wouldn't even want or think of it . Like I want to eat medicine . I have no chance to fully recover becuz weekly there's so many things ongoing I cannot afford to even rest properly for a day . So quit fucking my life upside down - you're my parents and you're not being understanding .

I'm beginning to hate learning to be independent . I shall be a fucking baby for my whole damn life _l_